


Knock

by O_san



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: GTOP, M/M, leesoohyuk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 19:32:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4491975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/O_san/pseuds/O_san
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because he won’t ever understand Jiyong the way Seunghyun does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knock

It all started with a knock on his door. Based on how _not_ many people know where he lives and the fact it’s actually two in the morning, he gets the meaning of it’s knock.

He gets up from the couch, intentionally let the tv on just in case it’s becoming too awkward and some sound is so much better than none.  He opened the door and finally gets the hint of what might happen, “ No place to sleep?”

Jiyong stares at him and the he smiles. Not the kind of smile he put on tv or when they’re joking around. It’s simply a smile of saying that ‘I am fine’, that ‘I am okay.’ so please let me in because I wish I could sleep in peace with no one bothering me about shit “ You know me too well, huh?” and Soohyuk let him in.

\---

It’s been three days and Jiyong is still not leaving.

He sits on the couch with big bowl of chips, kept changing the tv’s channel, not bothering to charge his already dead phone and of course still no words of why he miserably came to his apartment.

And being a good friend he is, Soohyuk is just waiting.

He tried to be the best person to be with, though. He let Jiyong choose what to eat each day. He brought alcohol home so they get drunk almost every night, wishing his friend would loosened his wall and just talk so maybe Soohyuk could help. But nothing isn’t really come out aside from a joke that he would like to do this forever in this Apartment.

Which just make Soohyuk more worried about him.

\---

A week later, he is finally gets a glitch of the problem.

He just got home from his schedule, brought some food to eat for their _watch movie together_ routine but when he heard his friend shout hard on the other side of the door, He decided to wait before step inside the house.

There are curse words, there are holding back sob here and there, so much for how unfair the person he shouted now to him. How the other people let him go and let someone in and he wishes dead for both of them.

Soohyuk stays on until what he heard is no more than a sob. He gets in and walks to his living room and unsurprisingly finds Jiyong already curled on his couch, covering his face.

“ Don’t ask”

He doesn’t need to ask, though. Because he just knows. Scratch that, _everyone_ knows who’s the person on the other side of the phone without Jiyong say it openly.

It’s one of his band mates. The one he respected and loved the most. The one that could make that stubborn Jiyong change into one little needy kid just with one simple joke.

It’s his friend, Choi Seunghyun.

Both of them are never say shits about their relationship. They stay private on this matter but people just kinda get it. How both of them need each other to be around, how Jiyong make song after songs only for the other man, how choi seunghyun stubbornly won’t let his solo album out because it’s all about the little man and choose to listen it by himself, or sometimes with Jiyong.

Soohyuk just sit beside his friend and decided that a little pat on his head would be all right and maybe that is what jiyong need the most as Soohyuk heard him cries even more.

\---

Jiyong is finally backs to his own apartment.

He doesn’t do a proper goodbye or grand party to say thanks to him but little gesture that make Soohyuk smile. He put some little notes on everything that Soohyuk could see. He put it on the coffee machine because he knows how Soohyuk couldn’t live a day without it, he put it on his favorite magazine that Soohyuk will always read every morning.

There’s no word of thank you or anything. He just draws ugly version of Soohyuk face.

\---

He keeps coming around, though.

 Sometimes, he brings food and alcohol home and when he gets drunk too much he just stay a night. Sometimes he just come with his lyric’s notebook and started to work while Soohyuk watch movie beside him. Sometimes they just sleep together in one bed, no touching or anything.

Sometimes, but very rarely, Jiyong will come to his couch and put his head on his shoulder or his lap and Soohyuk just calmly accept it. They go without too much talk but the feeling is mutual so it’s totally fine.

\---

The first time Soohyuk met Seunghyun is somehow awkward.

It’s one of Nuthang reunion party. And everyone is quite surprised when they see the rapper. He sits at the corner of the room, joke around to the nearest person, chain smokes all the way, swallow everything that comes to him.

Jiyong isn’t in the party, though. He goes to Japan, to meet his new friends and surely, partying too.

They used to be very close. Him and Seunghyun.

They talked about everything as long as smiles appear on their faces but maybe because of the break up or whatever his friend’s recent relationship condition now and everyone knows how Jiyong and Soohyuk becomes so close right now, Seunghyun only looks at him once, a small smile on his lips and avoids him all night long.

\---

Sometimes, what Soohyuk hated the most about brokenhearted Jiyong is how the little man forgets to take care of himself.

He only finds a way to make whatever he felt now numb. So he get drunk, he get laid, he does everything that he could think of and almost everything he decided to do bothered Soohyuk so much he drags Jiyong out of the club and forces him to get into the car.

Jiyong stays silent and Soohyuk let him do whatever he wants as long as he stops ruin his body.

“ They broke up, I guess.”

It was only 4 words but means a lot of things. Soohyuk doesn’t know what actually Jiyong want to hear from him so he stays silent before snapped from it and just says whatever comes first to his mind, “ Ask him, then. “

The other man snorted.

Soohyuk, personally doesn’t believe that Seunghyun actually have or _had_ relationship with his director friend. Even with the pictures of the two going around the Internet and how Jiyong always hold some tears whenever he sees it and jokingly said “ Look, they’re on another date”, He simply just couldn’t imagine Seunghyun let another man replace Jiyong that easily.

He’s still remember the days where Seunghyun called him, in very hopeless voice, ask what he should do now that he likes Jiyong. How scared his used to be best friend at accepting who he actually is. How many hours of him listening and convincing Seunghyun that it’s fine to be gay.

That it’s fine to love Jiyong.

But, Soohyuk’s opinion isn’t going to be matter because he knows Jiyong. His friend already too consumed with his own thoughts and things would go real shitty if he actually tried to change it.

After another 5 minutes of silent, Jiyong finally says something.

“ I only want to become his only choice, you know. That’s it”

\---

It’s maybe because they’re spending too much time together. Or the fact that it always involved with alcohol. Or simply it’s because of Jiyong’s miserable sad face.

One day, everything was just different so they slept together. And yes, this time with groans and moans.

\---

At first, what he felt is guilty. He seriously wanted to call Seunghyun, ask him forgiveness and maybe avoided Jiyong for a little while but somehow, the little man keep showing up.

He acted like they did nothing wrong and made Soohyuk felt more confused about this new growing weird feeling he has towards the other man.

And, each fucking time Jiyong comes to his house. Drunk and shit and fucking flirt at him, he can’t stand it but kissed him back when he felt soft lips touch his. And they go all the way again.

He called Seungho for help but the other side just laugh and “ I knew it, it’s going to happen” and regretted right away because Seungho will tell anyone in their circle about the fresh news about him and Jiyong abstract relationship.

And Seunghyun will finally know that he betrayed him.

But Jiyong just laughed when Yoon called him to ask if the news is right or not. And he smiled at Soohyuk before answers, “ Let’s see what happen next.” Like it’s fucking fine.

He scared as shit but then, slowly Jiyong is everywhere in Soohyuk world. His kitchen, his couch, his bed and as sucks as it sound, his fucking heart.

\---

Nothing really changes about them except there are a lot of mature activities here and there. They rarely fights and Jiyong, unsurprisingly, is one of the best lovers in Korea, maybe in the world.

He’s there whenever Soohyuk needs him. Might not always face to face, but enough to makes Soohyuk feels needed. He doesn’t say a lot of love words but he does a lot of things that screamed one. Like there’s one time, when Jiyong took him to one of his favorite restaurant, with tired eyes after some event, he listened to every word Soohyuk said.

When he asked if he wanted to go home, Jiyong shook his head, “ Nah, I like it here.” And forced him to tell another story. Soohyuk was so happy, he decided to upload a picture of them two and put a caption ‘ My Superstar’ on it.

Those happy moments always makes Soohyuk believe that maybe they could make it work but then when he heard Jiyong called Seunghyun name when they have sex, he just knows, he expect too much.

He said nothing about it and he sure Jiyong doesn’t even know what he just did.

As hurtful as it is, he tried his best to smile when the other man snuggle closer to him.

\---

It wasn’t a surprise when Seunghyun comes to his house.

Soohyuk already prepared to this. He even let the other man beat him if he wanted to but nothing violence actually comes. The other man gave him a gentle smile and asks if it's okay to come in. 

He looks around with bitter smile on his face. Like he recognized a lot of things there.

Jiyong is practically already live with him now. There is his lyric’s notebook, a weird looking astray that maybe from Seunghyun, a vinyl player, and lots of other things that only Seunghyun and Jiyong understand. “ So, it’s serious, huh?”

He’s taken aback a little, “ What?”

“ You and Jiyong. “ He hopped to the couch, inviting him to sits beside him, talking like they used to before. But Soohyuk stays on his place, stands near the window. He thought he was ready for this yet this is getting too much.

They’re getting too much. Seunghyun and Jiyong and their way of treated things. And somehow Soohyuk wishes he wasn’t the third wheel on their never ending relationship.“ We never talk about it too much”

“ Serious enough he brings all this thing to your place.”

They stay silence. Seunghyun looked at him now, “ I’m sorry. “

Another minutes of staring with each other and Seunghyun’s half-stand from the couch, Soohyuk finally voices his frustrated thought, “ I should be the one saying that.”

His used to best friend gave him the weirdest smile ever. It mixes a lot of thing but there’s some understanding there. That he gets it why Soohyuk does what he do now.

He stands now. He looked at the astray and said, “ Tell him, I take what is mine” and he’s gone with an astray on his hand.

\---

Soohyuk knows as soon as he tell Jiyong where the astray gone, the man himself will be gone too.

Yet love does stupid things so he told him, “ Seunghyun take it”

And just like that, Jiyong’s out of his apartment.

And maybe, out of his life too.

\---

They get back together.

He doesn’t need to ask Jiyong about it. With all those Ji’s new instagram post, he kind of gets it.

\---

He just knew its Jiyong when he heard a knock. He opened it and simply looked at him long enough to get what those eyes want to tell him this time.

It used to be easy to understand the other man. Now, it’s so fucking hard.

It isn’t that pitiful stare that he gave the first time he got here. Not even an apologetic one too. Since Seunghyun came to his apartment, he’s quite understood that both of them talk in very different way than other people. They are the one and those stupid thoughts about him and Jiyong might be the _one_ is stupidly ridiculous.

Because he won’t ever understand Jiyong the way Seunghyun does.

It hurts to actually admit that.

“ Are you happy?”

Jiyong does nothing but nod. “ I-“

“ It’s good. I like it when you’re happy. “

He smiled this time. It flutters and breaks Soohyuk’s heart at the very same time. He tried to change a topic but then he realized Jiyong brings some empty bag on his hand. And without thinking further, “ Can you just leave it.”

Jiyong gives him weird look.

“ Your things.”

It’s his ego that talks. He knows those things are important for Jiyong. Those lyrics notebook that he wishes one or two songs was for him. Or the vinyl player that Jiyong always proud of and how they always listen to it whenever they felt too tired to talk or make love.

It likes saying, please come back to me if you want that stuff back and he knows he’s a jerk for doing this to Jiyong.

To Seunghyun.

Jiyong is staring at him long enough that almost make him want to take back his words but then, Jiyong nods, “ Take a good care of my things. I **_trust_** you.” And he turns around and walks away.

Soohyuk looks at the man until he gets into the elevator. He gets in, sits on the couch and turns the tv on. He watches nothing and find noises from the tv is comforting enough while he looks around, feeling relieved when all Jiyong’s stuff aren't gone.

So maybe, the next time he heard another knock on his door, the other man shouldn’t bother to move his things again.

Because, it’s already there.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously bad at grammar. I'm so sorry but hope you enjoy it! :D


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